this is my life

She hates me. She told me she hates me more than anything in the world and called me a mother fucking cunt and a god damned psychotic bitch. Why? Because I left a note on her car saying how much I love her and because I was asking her friend for help because of how worried I am about her. I don’t understand, all I did was love her and now she hates me. After everything I’ve done for her she blames me for everything going wrong in her life. And the kicker is no matter how badly she treats me I still love her more than anything in the world. I know she’s going to regret the things she’s said to me and ask me to give her another chance and stupid me will do it. I love you Christina, I’m still here for you. Please come back to me and let me help you. I know you don’t fully mean the things you’ve said to me the past couple days. I know somewhere deep down you do love me. You don’t understand how much pain you are causing me. I want to die just to get these thoughts out of my head. And yet i am still madly in love with you and want only you but you hate me. She hates me and I feel like such a failure. And she doesn’t care how I feel, not one bit. I’m just a mother fucking god damned psychotic cunt to her and to me she’s my beautiful, amazing love of my life.

I just want you. I want you on your good days and your bad days. I’m always going to be here, no matter how hard you try to push me away. How I’ve felt about you over the past few months haven’t changed, no matter how badly you’ve treated me,I still love you and want only you. I’m sitting hear holding the rose you made me and the penguin you bought me crying my eyes out because I’m so worried about you and I want to help you and you pretty much told me to fuck off and that you take back everything you’ve said to me the past few months. You told me I give you every reason to wake up in the morning, that if the Devils win the Stanly Cup we are getting married, that you love me more than anything in the world and it kills me that you are trying to take it all back. What happened in the past three days to make you hate me so much? All I’ve done is love you and try to help you. I can’t take this, I can’t take the pain you are causing me and I still love you. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for breaking your shot glass, I did it out of anger and hurt. I’m sorry for pushing you away, I’m sorry for fucking up your life and only making things worse. I’m sorry I freak out on you, I’m sorry for only pushing you away.  I love you, more than anything, and that is never going to change. I know somewhere inside you love me too, I can tell by the way you look at me, how you kiss me and hold me. I know we will get through this, we can get through anything. I love you, you’re my sweetheart, my lady, my love. And I know I’m yours. We’re room temperature lady, no one gives me butterfries the way you do. <3